Week 22

Hellooo friends & family! It was another awesome week to be a missionary!... one of the most emotionally difficult (hence the long paragraphs this week... sorry about that) but it's all good now:) here's some of the main events from this week: 


☆TRANSFER NEWS...☆
-we usually get our transfer news on saturday night, but our mission president is changing things up. He only told people who are leaving their areas on Sunday night. Then tonight he will send out the full transfer board to see where we go and who our companions will be. Super weird. But my companion is being transfered and i am staying:)) once you read the rest of this email, you'll see why that news makes me happy and at peace but anyways I find out my new companion tonight :) 


☆COMP FIGHTS....☆
-lol I am a lover, not a fighter. I'm also a people pleaser so I never admit if something is upsetting me I just deal with everything. but this week, me and my companion got in an actual fight (both instigated and fixed by our district leader) over something SO stupid. I wanted to go Christmas caroling with our zone (because EVERYONE was going and I love that stuff) but my companion said Christmas caroling is tacky and stupid and we will NOT be participating... which upset me because i have an opinion too (and this was like the millionth time shes controlled what we do... we can never eat out because she doesnt eat anything unhealthy, she picks what referrals we actually go to, never shows me our messages and if i try looking when shes reading them she gets super mad... basically this is her area and im just a guest is how she treats me) like I really wanted to go caroling and the whole zone wanted us to come. My companion was very determined to not go caroling, so she texted our lessons for those days and rescheduled them for the evening time, perfectly blocking caroling.... all behind my back because she has the SIM card and doesn't show me text messages. I was super bummed out but wasn't gonna do anything about it, but my district leader decided to ask us individually about it and our sides and I guess we both ended up complaining to him, so he put us all in a group chat and basically exposed us for complaining about each other and rudely told us we were ridiculous and needed to fix the situation. WE GOT THE MESSAGE WHILE WE WERE SITTING IN THE SAME ROOM like how awkward for us. So she very angrily rescheduled our lessons back to their original times (probably blaming me to the members honestly) and ignored me the entire night through our lessons until the drive home. Then on the drive home she harshly told me how ridiculous I was and that I was being a baby and didn't even care about missionary work if I was willing to change lessons (even though she moved them in the first place to avoid caroling...) and muttered super hateful things under her breath and I just sat there the whole car ride until we got home and the anger was suddenly shifted to our District Leader for his rude message and then after that she was less mean to me. But it was a HARD day I had an anxiety attack and locked myself in the bedroom having a mental breakdown crying. It's hard to live with someone who treats you like they hate you... it's been a rough transfer lol. But I survived! 


☆Dont fight fire with fire...☆ 
- Something I've learned from this transfer is DONT GIVE ANYONE ANYTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT YOU. I was told a lot of hurtful things by my companion and put in frustarting situations, but i never said anything rude back. (To her face lol... I complained to my mom about it all haha which still isnt good lol...) but I tried my best to give her no reason to complain about me. When she tried complaining about me to my district leader the only things she was able to say were things like: "she's too quiet." To which my district leader said well yeah you always talk over her.... (because she does, even in lessons like she wont let any attention turn to me its super weird) or "she wakes up at 6:30 everyday it's so annoying." to which he'd say aren't you up at that time too...? (Because it's the rule and schedule we follow) Like her complaints had no validity and exposed herself more than me. It's been a ROUGH transfer emotionally. But I've learned a lot of good life lessons and still can say I love her. I'd just prefer to love her from a distance. 


☆MENTAL HEALTH IS REAL☆ 
-this week (on the day of me and my companions big fight lol) we stopped by one of our 15 ward Christmas parties and one of our friends was sitting alone outside (it's literally snowing and night and very cold) so we went and sat with her and she just started crying. She told us that she had the worst week ever and almost committed suicide twice. She really struggles with mental health issues and often has suicidal thoughts, but never makes a plan or follows through thank GOODNESS but this week she made real plans and almost followed through. Like very serious. It had already been a very hard day for me so I just cried my eyes out with her. Mental health IS real, and there are people all around us who need help. I've had someone tell me that mental health is really just in your head and people being dramatic. It's NOT. be kind to those around you. you never know who needs a simple hello or smile that day. If someone comes to your mind or you feel prompted to reach out even to just a friend or to say hi, DO IT! I'm generally a very happy person, but I had a really rough week and got several emails and messages that really made my day or helped me get through it I and I appreciate all those. be kind to other people, and know that you're loved :)


Sorry I've been slacking answering emails these past few weeks! It's been super busy but I will try to catch up asap:) love yall<3


~Sister Traylor